I sit here wondering where my wonders appear from… my life at the moment seems totally different to other people, because I am in a physc hospital. I have been here 6 months so far and keep wondering what the “after” part is going to be like.
I am currently waiting to hear on some major news which will effect the next 18 months of my life… this you may wonder what it is: its the decision of which residential unit I am going to be going to. I am going there to do an intensive DBT course.
But as I’m sat here wondering and pondering things, I am also wondering if the commissioning board realize the impact that their log time answer is having on me. I only wonder this because it is one of the MAJOR factors of when I am busy I can try and “ignore” the suicidal thoughts and feelings BUT when I am sat doing “nothing” and here on the ward and able to think that is when the suicidal thoughts become so damn overwhelming and the voices escalate to a higher volume.
So yes I have spent the majority of today wondering about many a topic today but it always comes back to suicidal thoughts and the impact they have on me…
Me, myself and my life with mental health 
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